


Home Again: A Sam Wilson Fanfic

by omgsaveme



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgsaveme/pseuds/omgsaveme
Summary: Between the events of CA:Civil War, your relationship with Sam Wilson struggles and remains a secret. That doesn’t stop you two from being together, though. You’re always coming back home.





	Home Again: A Sam Wilson Fanfic

There was nothing easy to discuss about the future of the Avengers in the face of the Sokovia Accords and the raging public opinion. The result had been a profound break between friends. Between Tony’s cautious and idealistic vision and the Captain’s pragmatic one, added to the secrets that shouldn’t been kept and yet surfaced, the result was devastating. For some, more than others, however. 

Coming from a small Latin American country that had suffered severely from international interventionist policies, you felt split between two visions that didn’t seem to be reconcilable. You understood the feeling that had driven the Accords on an intimate level and you couldn’t help but think that it could be too arrogant to believe so faithfully in the safeguard of your own hands. Such a belief had already stretched much prejudice historically all over the world… Was such thought really righteous? Could you stand on the side of the man you loved against your own inner convictions? In the end, you had ended up stepping away from the fervent discussions in the room, quietly retreating to the far corner of the spacious apartment where the Avengers discussed their future. There was a melancholic air in the panoramic view of the city below, in the innocence of the pedestrians outside, with the grayish skies that foreshadowed low temperatures. You felt yourself tremble from the chill that ran up your spine to the back of your neck in the face of your decision. 

Your position within the Avengers as an agent was nothing special and would not bring weight to the discussion, but it would profoundly affect your life. You had watched from afar while Sam Wilson, the falcon, was vocal about his suspicions of the international agreement. The fierceness with which he defended his point of view made it clear that he would hardly change his opinion, especially as such a position was shared by his friend Captain America. The discussions were suddenly stopped when the Captain had to leave without even waiting a word from the others. 

After Steve had received the news of Peggy’s passing, Sam had been the first person he told, and soon they would be flying to London. Their friendship was something so fierce, so organic, that between the time Steve showed the message in his phone to Sam and indicated that he would need to go to London, it took around two seconds until the black man got up from the couch and went to Steve, a hand on his shoulder asking how he was and the answer to the blond silence a tight hug.

While Sam packed his suitcase, you took advantage of the small pause in the movimentation around the Tower to talk. If you were sincere, you liked to think that both of your expressions showed that you’ve come to your decisions, and perhaps for that very reason the air was so quiet and yet so final. 

"Are you going to sign it?“ He didn’t even look towards you as he continued to fold a few pieces of clothes methodically, placing them in his suitcase with calculated care, a neat black suit over his bed ready to travel.

"I’m not an avenger.” You stated simply, your eyes darting to his face and then back to his hands.

“But you have your decision.” He still doesn’t look up and you decide to lean against the doorway as you wait for him to finish, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yes.” You nod, even if he doesn’t see it. Then, you lean your head in his direction. “So do you.” There’s a shadow of a smile on his lips even if his face continues to show his focus. A small beat of silence until he looks up to you and confirms it, his hands stopping its motions while he straightens his posture and rests his hands on his waist. “Yes.”

Both your smiles are the saddest to ever grace your lips on each other’s presence, but there is deep understanding in the air; you are both very obstinate to change your minds and both have convictions that go well beyond the relationship between you, not to mention respect for one another and thus none of you presses for anything more. Before leaving the room, you move towards him and gives him the lightest of kisses on his cheek and his hands snake up your arms as if him didn’t want you to leave, even though he still let you go.

~

You were working when the news about the Winter Soldier was discussed at a briefing with the agencies responsible for the investigation - in which you were present. You saw how Sharon seemed to glance around before entering the room a few minutes late and knew immediately that the Captain probably already knew of any new information that was going to be discussed there, which meant that they - because you knew Sam would definitely be involved - were already on their way to wherever Bucky Barnes was hiding. Leaning back against the chair, you sighed and pulled out your phone, typing a quick message to a number well known. 

“You’re both going after him, ain’t you?”

It didn’t take long for the reply to come. “He would do the same for me.” 

The smallest of smiles graced your lips as you read the message. Sam Wilson was nothing less than loyal and brave and you almost loved him more for that. You sighed and typed back. "Be careful. He’s considered too dangerous to bring in. Any way, you’re all getting arrested.”

"Great news. Save me some good lawyer. Love you.” You choke on a breath and can feel your face heating from the fast increase in your heartbeats. You actually feel a little numb from it and your heart’s beating on your ears for some time until you finally get a hold of yourself. That’s how the motherfucker decides to say he loves you for the first time. You almost type back a very explict emoji of a finger but ends up replying “you too” with wicked purpose. You can’t help the chuckle that scape your lips and there’s a few heads turning your way, but you pay no attention while making a quick search of good lawyers you know.

~

When the Captain and Sam entered the room accompanied by Agent Romanoff, you observed with a little relief that at least they weren’t cuffed or driven to the cells. There was a lot of noise in the building with the whole situation and pretty much everyone was busy looking at legal issues while pouring out reassurances of security and repercussions. But you knew the man you fell in love with too much to know better, and while the Captain might be known for his righteousness, Sam Wilson would probably be known from his tenacity, that and his empathy. In the end, that makes them a dangerous duo in and out of field.

You come slowly in the opposite direction from Tony and Natasha as they talk to the Captain and Sam. You notice how Steve nods shortly and you quickly return it, an easy smile on your lips that seems to relax him, if only in the least. You approach and Sam smiles sheepish in your direction, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and all the expression of someone who did something he shouldn’t, even though his shoulders remain upright and proud. You know better than to think he would regret.

"Y'all just couldn’t help yourselves, huh?” You say as you slowly shake your head, and Steve lowers his blue eyes to you with a barely there corner smile. You smile back as you deliberately pick up a file on one of the tables nearby, turning to them right after, assuming a more professional posture. “Captain Rogers, please wait here for a bit. Mr. Wilson, please accompany me. ”

They both seem to exchange uncomfortable glances with the separation for a moment, but then Steve gives a short nod and walks toward the office room straight ahead while Sam stands still and just stares at you, impassive and unreadable as he waits to follow your directions. You don’t go far, just an adjacent room right after a hallway, but the glass doors there are etched and there is some privacy so you two can talk.

“You’re okay?” You ask as you close the door after him. There’s a file in your hand and you don’t even try to hide it being a version of the Accords as you put it on the table and sit down, looking at Sam standing and silent. He does not answer you, instead he looks at you like you have just cussed him or maybe threatened him.

"Really? Silence treatment?“ You ask, completely done with the nasty glare he’s sending your way.

"Are you here to try and make me sign it?” He accuses, a nod of his head towards the Accords and all his posture screams distrust at your intentions. He still stands near the door and with his hands in his pockets, but his eyes are hard and critical. You actually relax a little.

"Nah. I know you won’t. You didn’t go and did all this to sign it now, right?” You scoff as you lean back in the chair and stretch the aching muscles of your back. He looks at you suspiciously, still, but his hands come out from inside his pockets and you consider a victory.

"Then why?“

”Nat asked me to give it a shot.” You shrug and smile at him, happy to notice that he seems to understand the redhead’s intent. "And I wanted to talk to you without it seeming painfully clear we’re together.” He chuckles and relaxes, now, even if it’s just something small as he walks toward the table and sits facing you.

"Do you think it worked?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure Nat’s the only one who caught us, so, yeah.” Sam nods and there’s humor in his eyes even if his lips are pressed together. “Tony probably thinks she’s the one who’s persuading you, though.” That does it and he laughs and your smile is big and bright, but it dies quickly as his expression turns bitter.

“What’s going to happen now?”

You shrug, but your expression also turns sour. “Tony’s gonna talk to Steve for a bit, maybe get a middle ground. You’re both in for some time off. I don’t know more. ”

He nods and does not press for more than you can not give. “What about Barnes?”

“I’ve heard they’re trying to negotiate his time in a mental hospital. The other option is a Wakandan prison. King T'challa is pressing hard for the last one and I have to say, he’s a diplomatic force to be reckoned, but it’s still in the hands of the UN now.”

There is a long silence while Sam’s thinking about everything you said and reflecting on the options they have. You do not offer input; you can’t be partial on this subject. There’s a lot on risk right now and it can go even worse depending on the next choices they make. When he’s done, he stays still and looks you in the eye. You know his choice but still pains you a little to hear it.

"I’m not saying that I couldn’t be lead to compromise, but I don’t see how to do it now. We can’t put those kinds of things to future negotiation because we landed in a hard spot now.” You are nodding even before Sam finishes his sentence and that cracks a smile on his stern face. “So I’m not gonna sign it because that’s gonna make Tony’s negotiation to keep us out of jail easier.”

You crack a smile at that. “I’m pretty sure it’ll be hard either way but I respect that. But I still work for the Avengers.” The boundaries need to be expressed; while you love him and respects his choice, he needs to respect your work and the decision that you also came to make. That’s the only way any of this can work for the two of you and you know Sam understands it, even if he would prefer it wasn’t that way. Especially given the situation that it could put you down the road. Right now, the people who know they’re together can be count in a hand and that probably needs to stay that way. They were very careful to be sure about their relationship for so long that when it finally could come out, it shouldn’t.

He nods shortly, but there is warmth in his eyes and his lips are curved in a small smile. “I understand. But you know this is more than the Accords.” Barnes. It’s unspoken, but yes, you both know there’s more to calculate between the Accords and the Captain’s actions. Bucky changes things because he brings new priorities to the table, and it has been repeatedly proved that Steve Rogers will go to great lengths for his friends.

“Yeah, yeah, what else is new.” You dismiss the somber air for a moment with a wave of your hand and he almost laughs at you. “You’ll still gonna help the Captain do some crazy shit as always, and I’ll still be forced to pin you down at some point… as always.” You lean back in your chair and cross your legs while a tempting smile strolls in your lips, receiving a charming smile from the man in front of you.

“Can’t wait.”

~

When the alarm started to sound you barely had time to try and understand what was happening besides the words “the winter soldier was activated” and “they escaped”; it had all happened so fast and you were too busy evacuating civilians and assessing the security breaches in the meantime to find out what had happened to Sam or anyone else. You felt a bit like if you were inside worrying loop while things always seemed to happen while you were scrambling to get to your feet. Your job was behind the curtains, in information discovery and security procedures under the Avengers’ seal, then that situation of remaining in the dark was rare - but then again the information we were talking about now was internal and well above your hierarchy. So when you were surprised by the sudden wave of information and explosion alerts at the Berlin airport, your first reaction was shock. When you got images of what was happening, the shock quickly became a tight knot of worry tying your stomach.

Sam’s arrest broke you in more ways than just one; and you must have broken a good thirty rules and possibly committed some various federal crimes including treason when you hacked the location system of the helicopter that took Tony Stark to the RAFT jail and passed the coordinates to Natasha who you could only assume would pass it up to the Captain. You knew what would happen next, and honestly didn’t care. You also sort of expected the State Secretary or maybe even Mr. Stark to come for you after a while, but the only thing that came to you was a Fedex package with a burner phone fully charged with only a number saved under the name “Big Chocolate Missile” and you almost fell off the chair in pure bliss.

~

As you land the helicopter in the clearing in front of the small cabin, a smile erupts from your lips in front of the image of the man coming out of the wooden glass door to lean against one of the pilasters at the front of the porch, which confirms your delay. Not that you had planned it, just got wrapped up in some paperwork back in the office and had to finish before leaving for the weekend. He has a calm and unreadable expression, except for the small smile on his lips and the arms crossed in front of his broad chest; the image is so homely that you immediately relax, your shoulders no longer containing much of the tension that accompanied your trip there. For a few seconds you focus solely on drinking the image of the man you love waiting for you on the threshold of a small hut in the mountains and you know it will help you through the difficult days when they come.

Relaxation quickly gives way to euphoria and you can feel your blood heating up with the quick beats of your heart. Picking up the bag behind the pilot’s seat, you quickly hop off the helicopter and head toward the small, cozy abode. Sam gives you a long look and there’s something behind his eyes that you can’t identify before his arms uncross and receive you in a long, delicious hug. He smells clean and fresh and his skin feels the slightest wet, which tells you that he has just gotten off the shower. You bury your face on his neck and breathes him in deeply while hugging him back. You can feel the small kisses he’s leaving on pretty much anywhere his lips can touch and your hands bunch his shirt in a fist because you’re already so deeply pressed together that there’s little you can do more. Your bag is long forgotten on the ground.

“I missed you.” You mutter against his clothes and he squeezes you a little more tightly as if to say welcome back. When he kisses your forehead, you are happy to lift your neck so that your lips meet. You sighed happily in the little kiss and Sam’s tongue came to your lips to demand a passage you quickly granted. Your hands loosened their grip on his shirt to travel above his back and settle under his arms, gripping his shoulders. Sam took one of his hands to the back of your neck, his fingers caressing your face while the kiss grows unhurriedly, tongues circling one another as they become acquainted again, slowly and passionate, the familiarity seeping through your bones and burning all over.

When you break apart is because you can breathe anymore and even then Sam’s kissing your neck and pulling you close and when his lips search yours again they’re even more gentle in their passion and you feel… you can feel his insecurity with your delay in the way he’s holding you close and kissing you with tenderness and suddenly your chest seemed to warm from the inside out. As you struggled to return all the passion he gave you through the kiss, you finally felt at home. In the double life both led, home really was each other’s arms. When you finally parted, his hands being forced to leave your skin, both drawing long breaths.

“Am I late?” You ask, your lips swollen and your skin a little scratched by the beard of a few days he’s sporting. Sam gives you a small slap on your thigh as if punishing the teasing.

“Nah. I just came in.” He teases back and then grab your hand and pulls you along. “Come on, I made dinner.”

The cabin is deliciously heated when you pass through the doors, the smell of delicious food flooding the few rooms. The cottage is simple, an american kitchen just to your left as you enter through the doors, a large living room with a stone fireplace and a small hallway leading to the master bedroom and bathroom. There is a door across the room that leads to a small backyard with a beautiful view of the beginning of the woods and a wooden table that has never been used. The decor is simple but tasty and comfortable and you feel at home. Everything is perfectly clean and you cast a judgmental look at him while he raises his hands in defeat. “I had to get here early, no big deal.”

Sam stands around the door and near the kitchen, his hands inside the pockets of his pants as he shrugs, but his eyes check every one of your movements. You recognize the traces of tension in the stiffness of his shoulders and weird behavior. But Sam is not one to wait around.

“So, what’s with the helicopter?”

You roll your eyes at him as you drop the suitcase by the couch and turn around to look at him. The suspicion is unnecessary, but you indulge in his reassurance.

“I can’t tell if Stark flagged my passports.”

“Why would he do that?” His eyes tighten and you know he’s trying not to sound how wary he is.

“Because I am in patent breach of duty.”

“It’s not your duty to bring us in.” He sounds both confused and alert at the same time and you lean your hip on the back of the couch in a comfortable position after so many hours sitting while flying.

“Yeah… hm, it kinda is now, contractual changes and everything. So, yeah, can’t claim that technicality anymore.”

Sam literally stands still for a few seconds as he processes the new information and then a big sigh leaves his lips as his shoulders seem to weigh. You notice the little details he tried to hide more easily now, the new crinkles around his eyes and the darker circles of missed nights, the way his shoulders are slightly slumped with weariness. Your heart tightens with the difficulties he must be passing and you slowly walk up and wrap him in a hug, your hands stroking abstract patterns on his back. It takes time for his arms to close around you, but when they do, he kisses the top of your hair with a small, satisfied sigh.

“And a helicopter was the most discreet way you could think of?” Sam laughed with his lips still on the top of your head. You smiled against his shirt.

“I was running late. And I only borrowed it. ”

“From who?”

“Dunno. Gonna take it back, though.” His laugh makes your entire reasoning stop just to fully appreciate the delicious sound as his chest rumbles against your ear. “Also, the GPS is busted.”

Only then did you realize how much the possibility of you being tracked still tensed him and if you were sincere, his doubt was a bit offensive, but knowing how complicated things were on their side, you just offered all the reassurance you could.

“This’ a neutral zone, you know the rules. Do you really think I’d let them come here?” Sam arms tightened around you again, and then he pulled back a little so he could look to your face and you raised your eyes to him. Sam had a tired, guilty, small smile and he kissed your forehead before beginning to leave small kisses all over your face until he reached the corner of your lips as he spoke in a playful tone.

"Not here exactly. But you could claim technicalities as you dragged me out.“ There was humor in his voice and you pulled away before he could kiss you to look at him in false outrage.

"I’m not going to say it’s not my thing to do it, but I would never!” It’s a fun discussion between the two of you, but there’s a strong sincerity in your eyes that makes Sam’s chest constrict and his heart race. This time, as he leans to kiss you, you let him, your body stretching on tiptoes so that your arms can slide across his chest to his face and then to behind his neck. What starts with a small caress of lips progresses rapidly as Sam traces your lips with his warm, wet tongue in hopes of tasting you. Somethings stirs inside you both and the kiss becomes frantic for a few moments as he wrap his arms around your waist and crushes you against him. It’s desperate and a little furious and a bit too savage, but you don’t care even a small bit as he slams your back quickly against the wood wall close to the door, legs wrapping around his waist as he seemed to try and annihilate any space between you two as if that would drive away everything else. It’s been too much time, too many losses and even when the air is short your lips are still together. Then the burning smell breaks you two apart.

Sam barely lets your feet hit the ground before he runs into the kitchen and turns off the oven, but whatever it is, it’s a little too late. When he looks into the oven, his head shakes negatively and you can’t help the giggle that breaks through your swollen lips. 

When he turns to you, putting the rather burnt meat on top of the sink, a smile plays on his lips. “Well, I hope you still like it well done.”

You give him a once over while biting on your lips to show your appreciation. His eyes darken while he throws the patted glove away, already shaking his head in anticipation of your words. “You know me… I love it well done.” You lean over the kitchen counter to place a burning kiss on his lips and he literally pulls you over it to his arms.

“Dessert first it is!” Sam exclaims and pulls you into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for @emilyevanston‘s Marvel trope flip challenge with the intention of being a flip for “Enemies to Lovers - Actual enemies on different sides of a war who get on fine at home”. It were supposed to be finished on August 11th but my sorry ass only started to write it like last week so i’m so, so sorry i’m late Kate! I have to say I’ve imagined something way more lighter and funnier when I decide this and it went around way more serious than intended, oh god. Also, the relationship between you and Sam is kinda pre-established so bare with me.


End file.
